Today is International Transgender Day of Rememberance (TDOR). It is the day we remember those of us who have lost our lives because of who we are. There are events all around the world where people light candles and read out the list of the names of our dead. Some of these people were murdered, and some were as good as murdered and took their own lives because of the abuse they received because of their identity.
So, why am I not at my local TDOR event right now? It’s supposed to be my own community, right?
The trans community here has not felt like a safe space for me for quite a few years now for a number of reasons. You’d expect that such a marginalized group of people would look out for each other, but they don’t. There were a lot of power games going on, and even when they weren’t directly being abusive towards me, I couldn’t put up with the way they were treating others. I felt on the outside because of being a person with disability. Maybe another day I’ll go into more depth about things that I’ve dealt with from what was supposed to be my community. Despite this issues, I had been seriously considering attending TDOR this year.
Feast Festival, which is the local “lgbt” festival, usually has the TDOR event as part of the festival. However, this year, their closing party was a couple of weeks ago. This is just one of many indications that they’re really only an “lgb” festival that tries to make people think it’s more inclusive than it actually is. They do mention TDOR in the feast guide for this year, but the accessibility section of the guide shows that they didn’t even care about making it accessible to people with disabilities, so there goes my plans for attending.
I’ve felt for a long time like I don’t have a community, and then things like this happen to confirm that I really don’t.